Let Go... Let God!

You may have heard it before. I know I have... in fact I can remember Dad using it in sermons from time to time!

Sure has been a tough couple of weeks... and most certainly not just for me!

Surprisingly, there've been a lot of tears pouring out lately. As Trish put it the other day - the emotions wash over you in waves.

One moment you're laughing about memories & the next tears are rolling down your cheeks.

After holidays and our wedding anniversaries, we muddled through more moments last week - 6 months since the aneurysm & 3 months since he passed.

Six months?!? Hard to believe it. Sometimes it seems like ages have gone by. Other times? It feels like I saw him yesterday & he'll probably be popping his head through the front door at work, stirring up everyone along the way any minute again.

Sadly... it's not so!

But we made it! Past the holidays and the anniversary. We all even sort of got past the 3 and 6 months marks! They (whoever 'they' are) say that time will heal. I'm sure that's true for the most part, but after 3 months, the pain is just as intense... sometimes even more so.

Each day... I look at my loving wife & kids. I think about Dad and the impact he has made and continues to make on who I am. I try to think WWBD? Yes, What Would Buddy Do?

I'm not trying to be blasphemous. I'm not saying WWBD, as if Dad's name should replace JESUS in the phrase. It's just that normally; when faced with adversity or issues I can't resolve; I would (as so many of us would) ask Dad.

What should I do, Dad? How do I get past or around or over the issues at hand? And he'd show me scripture, or offer words of spiritual wisdom that would get me where I needed to be.

So, WWBD? He'd say "LET GO... and LET GOD!"

I miss you Pop!
Johnny:)

Go Hawks!

Well, another week has slipped by... I know that because the Hawks are on the verge of playing their 2nd game since my last post (Beat those Bears!).

They eeked out a victory over the Cowboys - my team since childhood. While it's nice to see the home team trudging right along, it's also bittersweet to see my 'boys having to call it a season!

Anyway... in case anyone is wondering, Trish, Dina & I each made it through our Anniversary day. Rough as it was, and it most definitely had its' moments, we got through it all.

We went to 'El Toro's' for dinner; enjoyed great conversation & fellowship; fought with Trish over who'd pay (Dad would've never done that)... she won! Then stuffed & carrying leftovers to enjoy another day, we all headed home!

At dinner, I kept finding myself watching & waiting. Wondering when's Dad going to get here? What's he doing that sooo important to be late for his anniversary dinner?

Then it would hit me... you know, the ton of bricks feeling. He's not coming! It doesn't seem to get any easier! Days pass, some without much happening... but it still doesn't get easier!

Have I mentioned lately how much I miss him? Happy Anniversary Dad... and Dina & Trish, too!

I Love You!
Johnny

It's been a while...

My how time flies!

Since my last post, Christmas and New Years have each snuck by. Heck, the playoffs are here already!

There've been lots of days filled with wonderful as well as difficult moments - that's for sure!

Today, Austin mentioned how he liked me "this way". I asked what way that was?

"Silly", was his reply. He's missed out on that quite a bit - especially coming from my direction.

It's been a rough couple of months for me... as I'm sure it has for many, many others. I think (if it's possible) I miss him more now than last week. And more last week than the week before.

Lot's of rough times to come ahead, I'm sure.

Dad & Trish's 25th Anniversary is next Tuesday. A date I've been so proud to share with Dad. Yes, that day is also mine & Dina's Anniversary (our 20th). This year, we're sharing ours with them in an even closer way.

We're blessed to have Trish joining Dina & I for a dinner for 4. I'm confident that Dad will be there with us (we're buying and you know Dad wasn't one to pass up a free meal)!

Joking aside - I don't think I ever paid for a meal with Dad. Yes, he was frugal... but still as generous a man as any I've known!

I look forward to a night filled with many tears and laughter remembering & missing Dad! Of being silly!

It's been a while since I've been silly!

Silly, like my Dad! Not afraid to dance in the middle of the grocery store. Or sing walking through Wal-Mart! Or make up words to the songs I don't know the real words too.

Thanks Austin! I like me this way, too!

My laptop broke recently... it crashed, but in a more literal way. It shattered! As a result, I haven't spent much time on the computer. Was that a sign of some sort for the new year maybe? I'm not big on resolutions, so let's just say I'm making an assertive effort to be silly more! I'll still drop in for a post here and there. Just more likely less frequent.

I'll be back sometime soon, I'm sure. After more wonderful as well as difficult moments have slipped by.

An old & dear friend recently sent me an e-mail on hearing of Dads journey. In closing he used 3 words that were more meaningful than he probably knew... In His grip.

As each day passes, I strive to have those words ring true in my spiritual life the way Dad prayed they would again.

Keep us in your prayers...

In HIS grip!
Johnny