brrrRRRRRRRR?

What a week this has been around the northwest, huh? When the high temps are only 30 or so, I'd say it's a tad chilly. The summer provided so much wonderful weather though, that I guess it's only fair that fall is wet, snowy, windy & (most of all) cold.

It's definitely feeling like Christmas-time, that's for sure! As I mentioned previously, Dina & I took the boys to get our tree... it's up and decorated, and with the lights on the house; the snow on the ground; it's felt like the middle of winter - and it's not even December yet.

I stopped by Momma T's the other day, and her tree's up & ready as well. Heck, in a couple more weeks she'll most of us kids & grandkids together at the house for the first of many celebrations this season.

While I'm glad to have the Christmas season underway, and looking forward to the celebrations; I'm also moving through each day with a bit of trepidation. A touch apprehensive of what those celebrations will bring! Tears or Laughter? Joy or Sorrow? Probably a good chunk of each! So many feelings pouring out, so many memories being brought to mind!

So, am I cold? On the outside I am for sure. But to have been able to enjoy a week of smiling faces brought on by Snow days & Sledding, Christmas trees & lights... I'm toasty warm on the inside! What a great way to begin the season, don't you think?!

Hey Dad... Can you see the smiles? I can most certainly see yours!

God Bless! Time to get started with your Merry CHRISTmas!
Johnny:)

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, rolls, pumpkin cheesecake pie... the whole enchilada! Well, almost. There wasn't any Spam (many of you probably think that's really something to be thankful for!!)

Either way, with or without Spam, I'm still adjusting my belt from the wonderful dinner Dina made Thursday (or it could be from all the leftovers I've had since).

That being said, I'm sure that nothing we enjoyed comes remotely close to comparing with the feast or the celebration that Dad enjoyed. We can only imagine!

Here? Well, Thanksgiving Day has come and gone; but that doesn't mean that we've stopped being thankful! Not in the slightest.

As Dina, Elijah, Austin & myself drove down the road yesterday (on the way to the traditional cutting down of our Christmas tree), we passed by a church. A church we've only attended once - so not much for memories, right?

WRONG! The one time we attended there was when Dad was preaching.

I caught Dina glancing over as we passed by... obviously she was remembering too! I said something like, "everywhere we turn, huh?" To which she replied, "that's a good thing!"

We can find things to be sad about, and let them get us down in the dumps; have a little pity party and wallow in our sadness... or we can turn those things into wonderful memories to be thankful for! I choose the latter.

Momma T & I were chatting a couple days ago about all of the great tear-filled moments of memories we've each been going through. As we talked, it reminded us that all that shows is that our immense love for Dad.

By having so many things around us... people, places, smells, sights and more... that cause us to remember Dad - tears or not - obviously it's due to the fact that those things remind us of soooo many great moments that we shared with or because of Dad.

Does that makes sense? I guess I'm just trying to say this: Even if the memories may bring tears to our eyes, we'll take 'em! Those tears are a gentle reminder of how much we miss him, and yet an even stronger reminder of not only how much we love him, but how much he loves us, too!

Thanks God for all of these gentle reminders... and Thanks Dad, just for being Dad!

Happy Thanksgiving, Dad!
Johnny:)

Brain itch?

Have you ever been in the car on the way somewhere, and just before you get there you hear a song that you just can't get out of your head?

Then all day long you find yourself humming bits and pieces of that song?!

I did some checking - and according to Prof. James Kellaris of the University of Cincinnati College of Business, that's called a "cognative itch."

Continuing, he says that "certain songs have properties that are analogous to histamines that make our brain itch. The only way to scratch a cognitive itch is to repeat the offending melody in our minds."

I'm having one of those days today. Only, it wasn't a song that got stuck in my head: It was Dad!

I was running a little behind schedule, hustling to work, and heard a song (okay, so it was a song that started it) that got my mind wandering off in thoughts of Dad. Nothing specific. Just a memory of days gone by.

None-the-less, it stuck with me. I made calls to customers, and thought (as well as talked) about Dad. I'd get an e-mail and think about Dad. I talked on the phone some more... Dad. Ate lunch... Dad.

It appears that some days are just going to be like that.

I think about him every day in different ways. Sometimes it's a ball-game on TV; an episode of NCIS or CSI; or a conversation with a co-worker, customer, family member or even stranger. Whichever one it is... they all hit me like a ton of bricks!

I'm probably not the only one either. Trish, as well as my brothers and sisters, our spouses & children, Dad's close friends & fellow pastors... probably even a few of you. I'm sure those thoughts sneak up on many of us!

They sneak up on me in waves of emotion. Waves that, even though they may bring tears, feel awesome because they keep me remembering! I love to remember! Memories that are so sweet! I can see his captivating smile everywhere! Not because of pictures I see - but because the memory of that smile is so strong!

Furthermore, Kellaris says there are very few ways to get rid of a cognative itch. "Replacement strategies rarely work, because as we search our memories for a replacement tune, we're likely to come up with another", he admitted.

I guess as I think about it, it's not a bad thing... in fact, give me a lifetime of "cognative itches."

I want to keep this song stuck in my head forever!
God Bless,
John:)

A Lesson from the Geese

Funny the places God finds to teach us something, isn't it? I received this e-mail from a customer this morning. Wonderful lessons learned from God's magnificent creations, huh?

Dad was such an encourager (like I'm telling you something you don't already know), that I'm most certain he would have pushed the 'forward' button on his computer had he been here to do so.

That being said, I will forward it (so to speak) on his behalf.

Happy Monday!
Johnny:)

A Lesson from the Geese

FACT: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the bird immediately following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock has at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on it's own.
LESSON: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

FACT: When a goose flies out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone. It quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.
LESSON: If we have as much common sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. It is harder to do something alone than together.

FACT: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation, and another goose flies to the point position.
LESSON: It is sensible to take turns doing the hard and demanding tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent of each others skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.

FACT: The geese flying in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
LESSON: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek. We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.

FACT: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two other geese will drop out of formation with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their flock.
LESSON: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by our colleagues and each other in difficult times as well as in good!

~ Written by Angeles Arrien ~

Job 12:7-9 (NIV) says:
"But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you.

Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this?

Look around... you can see God at work everywhere. If the animals are willing to listen to God's plan for their lives, shouldn't we?

Isn't God GREAT?
JE

Keep Smiling, Dad!

I can hardly believe it's been so long already! That's right, it was one month ago today that Dad left for the streets of heaven.

Man, I sure miss him!

I still expect to see him walk through the front doors at the office to visit at any minute. Or see his smiling face when I walk into Rotary (sorry, fellow Rotarians, for my infrequent attendance lately... that's still a hard place for me to be).

I miss him so much!

When my phone rings, I think it might be Dad calling from the mall, where he's found a great deal on something none of us needs - but he's so excited by the price he just had to buy it (maybe even 2 of them).

Gosh, I miss my Dad!

And then it hits me... AGAIN! He's gone! No longer can I hear the familiar calming sounds of his voice. No more can I wrap my arms around him & feel the saftey and love in his embrace.

By the way, have I mentioned how much I miss him?

His voice; his hugs & kisses; the smell of his cologne; heck - I'd even settle for a few e-mails, jokes or just one of his songs. A little To God be the Glory! or Amazing Grace or how about one more verse of Happy Birthday.

I know that he's in, as they always say, "a much better place"! He's not hurting, or sad, or missing anything or anyone. He's worshipping at a level that makes worshipping here on earth seem like taking a nap, I'm sure.

But me? I just miss him!

Will it get easier? With time, we know it will. For now... a month has felt both like forever and like nothing more than a blink in time. The moments fly by, yet time seems to also stand still.

I'm sooo happy for Dad. He's made it to his final destination. He fought the good fight & won the battle! I rejoice in his victory!! The saying 'the grass is always greener' on the other side holds knew meaning for me now. Dad found that greener grass; the golden streets; the bluest skies!

Can you imagine how HUGE his smile must be?

Keep smiling, Dad!

I'll close with the words Ron Shepherd spoke as he left Dad's bedside 32 days ago (the day before his passing)...

"See you another day!"
Johnny:)

By the way, they also always say it's harder for those left behind. I definitely agree with that one! Those left behind to miss him...
and I DO MISS HIM!

Then again, maybe I've said that already?

A carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Darryl, Dad's friend & former co-worker stumbled across this gem of an e-mail that Dad had sent him more than a year ago. Well worth another look! -JE

You may never look at a CUP OF COFFEE the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however.
After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "

When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you can get better and change the situation around you with God's help. How do you handle adversity? When the hours are the darkest and the trials are their greatest, do you ask God to elevate you to another level?

When adversity strikes, ask yourself... ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

I found my smile!

Here it was, a quiet Friday afternoon at work. My wife Dina had made sure I was leaving a "li'l early". Said she had something planned for the family to do after work.

All of us need a little bit of that... a li'l something!

Over these past 4 months, everything (and I do literally mean everything) has revolved around Dad, and for good reason!

However, now that that chapter has been completed; we each have to find our own little something.

My wife & kids jumpstarted ours with a little home-planned kidnapping! The "li'l early" was needed to get me in the (already packed) van and head for a weekend at the coast.

What a great time it turned out to be!

A nice view combined with some breaks in the icky weather for some time to find lost smiles! We shopped for Christmas decorations, and saltwater taffy, searched for sand dollars & seashells, walked on the beach and waded (sometimes unintentionally) in the surf.

But we did smile... yes, we smiled LOTS!

While winter sneaks in and the weather gets nasty, don't forget to do what you need to do to find your smiles, too!

As Dina reminded me this morning with a note tucked in my lunchbag: Smile - Remember to do that more often. It's nice to see it on you. Dad would be proud of her blindsiding me with this little getaway.

Thanks God, for surrounding us with family & friends to help each other in our healing! Do you have your smile? If not... FIND IT!

God Bless,
John:)

Did ya miss me?

I figure I've waited long enough for most everybody to quit checking the blog by now.

You're still here?

I'm a little surprised by that! You do realize that 9 days ago, I made my final official post...
I guess that makes this my first unofficial post.

I've heard some very nice things from many of you about the impact these pages have had on some of you. Imagine being in my shoes! For just under 4 months now (117 days, for those of you keeping score), I've been attached at the hip to these pages. Stopping abruptly was needed, yet extremely difficult for me.

So why am I back? It's a little different this time around. I'm not here to give updates on Dad, nor asking for prayer or support as I have in the past. In fact I may just ramble on & on... who knows?

The reason I'm back... me, and only me!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being self-centered or anything. If you're reading it; that's great! I just mean that my writing will be more the therapy that I spoke of previously.

So often I find myself thinking, or dreaming, or talking (I think you get the drift) to Dad, that it seems appropriate that I go back to putting it on paper in an effort to work through things in my own life & mind.

Today, I don't actually have much to post - I just wanted to come back! But from here on out, I'll stop by when I do...

I hope that some of what you read causes you to reflect, to change, gain strength, or just plain smile. If not, then I'm sure you've got to have better things you can be doing - besides, like I said, it's for me now anyway (kidding, only kidding)!

Feel to stop to check it out anytime you like. Posts will probably be less frequent and, more often than not, be only minutely about Dad (unless you're good at reading between the lines).

If you have an anecdote to throw at me, or some thoughts or interjection to share with me, feel free to e-mail me at my home address by clicking here.

In the mean time... Keep on keeping on!
John

Hang Loose!

As I sat down to type, I decided that maybe a neat little poem would say the words I wasn't sure that I'd be able to find today.

As I searched various websites, page after page, I found lots of poems; teary poems; beautiful poems… poems to fathers both here and gone.

But none were about MY dad.

I guess that means that once again; for this one last time; the words will be my own. Hopefully inspired by the One that has inspired so many of Dads’ words in years gone by!

This morning Tricia Lynn sent me an e-mail that, in part said, “Life feels kinda weird going back to normalcy”. Normalcy - What is that really? According to Merriam Webster it’s the state or fact of being the way things usually are; Normality.

I have a feeling that normalcy may not be something that I will ever experience again… if somehow it is, it will be through new routines, new practices and new customs. Things can never be as they ”usually” were?

There will, most certainly be healing. God will provide that in time. But there will always be a void. A void left by the passing of a wonderful husband, father, grandfather & friend!

I went to pull a scripture and ran across Proverbs 27:11

Become wise, dear child, and make me happy; then nothing the world throws my way will upset me. (The Message)

Then NOTHING... will upset me!

Dad strived to live his life that way. People always commented on how carefree he would be, even in the midst of turmoil. Dad had developed a 'Hang Loose' mentality that went waaaayyyyy beyond he & Trish's annual trips to Waikiki. It was a way of life.

Richard Carlson (author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff) says:

If you think of strangers as being a little more like you and treat them not only with kindness and respect but with smiles and eye contact as well, you'll probably notice some pretty nice changes in yourself.

You'll begin to see that most people are just like you--most have families, people they love, troubles, concerns, likes, dislikes, fears, and so forth. You'll also notice how nice and grateful people can be when you're the first one to reach out.

When you see how similar we all are, you begin to see the innocence in all of us. In other words, even though we often mess up, most of us are doing the best that we know how with the circumstances that surround us. Along with seeing the innocence in people comes a profound feeling of inner happiness.

God willing, this will be my last official post on the blog. I thank you for allowing me a forum to have my own private (okay, not so private) therapy sessions here within these pages. I may sneak back in to continue my therapy as time goes by; for anniversaries, birthdays... who knows?

I do, however, want to leave you with a couple of words as I go. None of them my own.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Do a Toyota Jump now and then. Keep on Keeping on! Strive for the Prize! Enjoy the kid that we usually keep tucked deep inside!

But most of all...

Hang Loose! The Best IS Yet to BE!
Johnny:)